The Barre Workout: My Experience With Barre Class

My gym offers a variety of group fitness classes, and I like to shake up my routine by trying new things sometimes. I have tried the ever-popular Zumba, another dance-based class called K-Danze (apparently pronounced “Cadence” which was news to me.)

This week I decided to try a new class: The Barre workout. Now, I am told by the internet that the Barre workout is going to be the hottest workout of 2015. So I couldn’t pass it up, obviously.

At this point, in the introduction portion of this post, I want to reiterate that I am not even a little coordinated. I actually thought to myself, on the way home from my Barre class “I should start an EventuallyFormerFatty YouTube channel where someone records me hilariously flailing around, wobbling and falling over, and in general looking like a doofus during these group fitness classes. That shit would go viral and people would think “Well, I might suck, but I can do a whole lot better than that, so maybe I will give this fitness thing a try!”

I am totally willing to look like a fool as long as I have some fun and get my sweat on. And if my random failings and flailings make someone else feel like “Shit, I’m doing alright compared to that spaz,” then I’m cool with that. Some people lead by example. Not all of us can be examples of the right thing to do.

And in Barre class… mission accomplished… mostly.

I knew I wasn’t particularly coordinated, but I was not fully aware that I have very little sense of balance. Turns out…

Where my other classes have been about constant movement and sky-high energy, Barre class has a very different approach and vibe. The idea is to develop strength using the ballet Barre by holding or pulsing specific positions for an extended period of time. It focuses on form and core stability. Simple enough, right? Should be a nice change of pace to slow down a little, right?

I rue every decision that led to the decision to try the Barre workout. Why, oh why, did I fancy myself a ballerina in the making?

Okay, that might be a little dramatic. But seriously. I didn’t even know it was possible to hurt this much after a workout. A scant few days before I fought the Barre and the Barre won, I had thought to myself “I must be getting good at this whole fitness thing! I haven’t felt sore after a workout in ages!”

How naïve I was.

During the class, we focused on things like lunges and the Plié. All things I have done before, but not things I have had to hold for an extended period of time in which I fully considered just sprinting out of the room. But I did it, legs vibrating all the way. When I walked away, I felt full of pent up energy. It was great.

And then I woke up the next day to work at 7 a.m. And my first waking thought was “Am I paralyzed? I don’t think I can walk. Shit.”

Spoiler alert: I can still walk. But not very well.

THE PAIN. I’m finishing this entry three days later and I STILL had trouble walking today. The muscles in my lower thigh/knee area have been experiencing some hot, searing pain since waking up on Saturday. And that muscle that runs along my inner thigh from my groin to my knee? DEATH.

Ballerinas often suffer for their art, and so too must Eventually Former Fatties suffer for the bodies they desire.

Am I sexy yet? Ouch. Ouch on all counts. I feel like Barre class is a cruel joke that those hard-as-nails ballerinas have decided to inflict on the general public.

Conclusion: If you love waking up in immeasurable amounts of pain, the Barre workout is for you!

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elayne (3 years ago)

So… have you been back then?

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